Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
