i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
