Buhtt sex?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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