He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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