singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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