I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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