I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
