Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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