hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
