I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
