I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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