and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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