it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
