Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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