Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
