But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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