But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
