My hand turned me down
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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