my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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