"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
