I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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