remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
