Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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