hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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