I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
