awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You need a sexual gate keeper
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
