Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize