If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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