gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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