no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
