I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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