Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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