he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
