her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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