Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
