I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
