Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
