Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
