im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
