I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
