So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
