Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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