Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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