I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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