I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
