Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
