sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
