Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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