I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize