i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
