i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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