It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
