doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
