Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His hands were made for my vagina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
