I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
