I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize