Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
