butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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