Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
