the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
