im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
