PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
