my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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